11.30.2012

pour it out.

I want to be a writer.

I mean. I suppose I am one. I write sometimes. But, I want to be a writer.

I want to be able to write words that float, and twirl, and somehow fit just perfectly next to one another.

For a career? I don't know.

If I could do anything I'd want to take important pictures in faraway lands I think. That's what I really would like to do.

But then to come home and to be able to write about it. To be able to explain in words what pictures are able to say simply with colors and faces and light.

How do I do that?

I think I have it in me. I just need to learn how to pour it out. Like so many things in my life, to be honest.

My friend Lauren, a girl I first got to know dodging motorbikes on the streets of Vietnam, and someone who I quickly learned is probably the closest person on earth to my secret twin separated at birth, shared this the other day:



I watched it. And then I watched it again. And then again.

I thought about it all night.

I wish someone would have been there when I was 18. To ask me what it is I wanted to do. And when I answered, "Be a nurse." they would have looked me straight in the eye, and known to ask "Okay. But what do you really want to do?".

Because, in the words of Alan Watts, who narrated that video, "If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend your life completely wasting your time. You will be doing things you don't like doing, in order to go on living, that is to go on doing things you don't like doing. Which is stupid."

Maybe I still would have become a nurse. Or maybe not. All I know is I want to live like money doesn't matter.

And to write all about it.

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